Fawk(s) this!

Remember, remember the fifth of November...


Is there anyone out there who knows how the rest of this rhyme goes? Right, I didn't think so. We are, after all, no longer part of the Commonwealth so why are we still celebrating this day?


A few years ago, the powers that be tried to do away with Guy Fawkes Day and tried to replace it with Halloween in stead. I don't always agree with the powers that be, but I have to get behind this venture mainly for the following reasons:

1. It has become dangerous: In the smaller communities children and young people actually gang together and smear people with shoe polish, ink and quite a few other nasty concoctions that I would rather not mention (Hint: number one and two). I have it on good authority that attackers even conceal blades between their fingers and cut people in their faces as they conduct their smear campaigns and have even heard of women who have been smeared with No-Hair depilatory creams! I have witnessed these gangs wreak havoc in my own community, attacking grown and elderly people as they go to the shops and damaging cars on the roads (because there is safety in numbers - no adult can take on a group of twenty or so kids). And in schools you can actually smell the fear among the kids as they know what they will have to endure when they walk home from school. Still not convinced about the danger of this day? Police visibility is critical on this day and at times even this is not enough to keep the little fuckers at bay!
2. It is cruel to animals: Aside from the fact that animals have sensitive hearing and will therefore be scared shitless (sometimes quite literally) by illegal explosives going off - especially in the residential areas - some of the little hooligan-gangs that was mentioned before got the idea that it would be funny to shove fireworks into certain places on the animal's body and ... (I think you can fill in the blanks here).
3. Shopkeepers become unscrupulous and sell illegal fireworks to kids who then let them go off in residential areas. This is especially dangerous in the light of all the gang violence we have been experiencing lately.

It is not my intention to spoil anyone's fun, but I don't think one person's fun should be at the expense of the next person! Of course there is still a long way to go before Guy Fawkes is finally scratched off the South African calendar. Until then, God help us! Have a safe (and, if possible, happy) Guy Fawkes Day.